Does it Pay to Play Hard to Get?By
Tina L. Jones
Is it really necessary to play hard to get? Isn't that strategy a bit outdated? What's the big deal about playing hard to get? If you think playing hard to get is no longer necessary in today's modern world, think again.
The concept of playing hard to get is one of the first lessons most girls learn about relationships. It's been around forever, but like a lot of things that have been around for a long time, the message can get a little distorted as it's passed from generation to generation. Every girl knows she should play hard to get, but a lot of women don't really understand how to do it or why it's effective.
First and foremost, playing hard to get is not a game you play just to mess with a guy's emotions. If you are really not interested in a man, just let him know up front in a nice way. There's no reason to drag something out if you know right away that he's not the kind of man you want to get into a relationship with. The problem is some guys don't get it right away so you have to be firm but nice in letting him know that you aren't interested.
Why play hard to get when you are really interested in a guy? Why not just put all your cards on the table up front?
When a guy does peak your interest, playing hard to get is a subtle way of letting a guy know that you have options and you're not about to just hand yourself over mind, body, and soul until he's proved himself to you.
Additionally, men get away with whatever behavior you allow them to get away with. So if you start out letting him know early on that you'll take him without any reservation or trial period, he'll get the message that he doesn't have to call ahead for a date, or be a gentleman, or do any of the things men typically do when they want to win a woman over. You set yourself up to be taken for granted and taken advantage of.
But when you play hard to get, you let a man know that you are a woman who is in control and that you have certain expectations for how any man should treat you. Not to mention, guys enjoy the chase. It's part of their nature. It's their way of testing your limits and what you will tolerate just as much as it is your way of testing him.
Now that you know why to play hard to get, how do you go about being that woman who is just slightly out of a man's reach?
Think about it as a friendly game of "tug of war." You are each on one end of the rope trying to pull the other person over to your side. Sometimes you let down your guard just a little bit allowing him to pull you in his direction. Then when he thinks he's about to win, you pull back just enough to let him know that the challenge is not over.
A practical way to achieve this dynamic with a man is to always let him make the first move. You can smile or make eye contact as a sort of invitation to approach you, but you want him to step out of his comfort zone and make the effort to reach out first. Once he does, you can show him a little bit of interest to encourage him to continue the pursuit. Just don't make the mistake of calling him first after you've met or dropping everything every time he calls. And don't stop going out with other guys just because he's attracted your attention. The best way to remain emotionally neutral is to keep your options open. You don't need to flaunt this or use the fact that you are seeing other guys to manipulate him. If you have to turn him down don't say it's because you have another date. Just say that you have other plans and then suggest a time when you are available to go out.
There's a reason playing hard to get is still the number one rule for women who are dating. It's effective if you do it with the right intentions and use the proper methods.
