The Complications of an Intercultural Relationship
By Deb Allen
While all relationships can sometimes be difficult to manage, perhaps it is relationships that begin with a pairing of two different cultures that require the most attention care - at least in the beginning, to keep things running smoothly. Have you ever considered the many differences there are between people where you live and people in other parts of the world? In some cases the differences are minimal, but in others they are huge.
This of course can result in extreme clashes between the two people. Some of the major differences or concerns relate to such topics as views about women and their role in society. While this may not seem so important in the beginning, because after all, the couple is in love, if the relationship thrives and is lasting, the issue may have unexpected impacts later on. It may be as simple as the way one's mother-in-law is treated, or the way a daughter is taught about certain issues.
Other concerns include religion, sex, children and issues surrounding the children. For instance, views about education, discipline, and even the diet they will eat or the language that will be spoken in the home, can be a major issue.
Other topics of concern relate to views about medical care - or rather, the acceptance of medical help and things like what is acceptable in a particular culture when it comes to displaying signs of distress or pain. Some cultures are more concerned than others with the actual time on the clock and sticking with schedules in regards to formal worship and church services, or even appointments. In some cultures it is not always acceptable to make eye contact or to shake hands.
This article is not meant to teach about various cultures, but rather to simply provoke thoughts about the increasing number of cross cultural relationships and the bridges that must be laid in order to make those relationships work. Perhaps your dream partner lives in another part of the world. If so, are you willing to do the work required to establish and maintain the relationship that you've always wanted? Have you considered the unique compromises that may be required of your relationship?
While you may begin your relationship online, obviously there will come a time that either you will move forward with meeting and solidifying the partnership, or you will make the decision that the relationship does not have the potential to last. But if it is worth working for, where will you live and which cultural traditions will be practiced during the wedding, holidays, and funerals? When it comes to kids, what will happen if the relationship doesn't work out? Will you be separated from your little ones by an ocean and thousands and thousands of miles?
Intercultural relationships can and do work - and in fact, many of them seem to be happier than others. Could this be because the couple works harder at making the relationship work or is it the differences between the pair that make the relationship as wonderful as it is? Perhaps it is true that opposites attract. I think this is a very interesting topic and I intend to explore it.
