Volume
I
A MOMENT OF LIFE'S
REFLECTION
By African Queen
Well here's another
chapter of my life's book closing, as a new one began...and as I look
back on my dreams, hopes and aspirations, some having been fulfilled
while other's set on a dusty shelve waiting to be
re-discovered. Finally, I
am beginning to feel a glimpse of satisfaction within myself; A sense
of realness within my soul, a growth of maturity that only conquering
fear can achieve.
I'm molding and
shaping myself into in a world that seemed so strange long before,
always feeling out of place, not even sure if I belong. For the first time in my life, I
feel a positive surge of energy vaulting into my spirit. A flow of karma I can relate to
that eases the pain within my soul.
Yes, fear still taunts me, in the deepest hallway of my
mind. However, this time, I
won't allow it rule me, control me or dictate my journey which has been
ordained. For through the
living spirit I have conquered those things that has stumbled my
dreams.
My life has guided
me in many directions. Some
regrets. Time wasted on
meaningless adventures, seeking adrenaline, pursuing the high. Chasing relationships, believing I
was missing my whole, not even realizing that He was already in my
soul. Frugal attempts to
quicken the process...while perpetrating a person that does not exist,
to appease a society I must fit
in.
I remember being
told
Meeting
individuals...some good...a distinct lesson learned from each...while
others who has crossed my path have breed hatred, revenge and
contempt...while afflicting others with their sorrows. Most, still entrapped with the
mentality of slavery of long ago, oppressed, and enslaved to
ignorance.
It keeps them from
seeing His will for their lives
Falling in love,
oh, how beautiful I thought it would be, until faced with the reality
the fear of commitment from others, not willing to commit, compromise,
or show their deepest emotions.
Have you been hurt that bad that u cannot see the love
within my heart for thy?
Or, can you not risk the feelings of experiencing true
love? I ask myself, do we
know true
love,
As our Father in
Heaven loves us.
Too much, time to invest?
Unsure of what to
expect? Judging of one's
style, looks, and
race.
To thin, to fat, to
light, to dark. Not the
right height, not the right physique, when I only want someone to
recognize that I am beautiful as ME.
Wow, what a valuable lesson I learned on that
trip. What a selfish world
we live in, the "I" society. While on that trip, I was able to
build a few genuine friendships, especially during the stratosphere of
my heartache, and pain.
Never again could I trust my heart to another, I often
vowed. I never want to
experience such pain, anguish, or emotional unbalance
again.
Always remain in
control I was
told.
I know the journey
I'm getting ready to embark on will be faced with numerous challenges.
Nevertheless, it's
something about this trip that's dramatically different from the
others. Maybe I'm finally
ready, no more demands, drama or expectations. For the reality of life has lead me
out of the darkness of my shell. And as each page is written in my
book, My true me, My true
destiny, My true purpose shall be
revealed.
For today, I am more receptive to the Power that leads my every
step
